Pencil stain
by ItsmeRibbitRabbit
Summary: A ragged old book, paper stained, left by a girl believed dead. (part of my AU Circles and the sequel His shattered grace)


**My** name is Zella Aren Velx. I am writing this in case...no, I don't know why I write this.

No one will ever read it. Maybe I have to. I have to keep sane. I have to survive this hell.

Today is my 56 day in the darkness. Why do I know that? They bring me food. Three times a day.

I can count. I can count very well.

Corros Prison, that's what they call this place.

I have been in prison before. I have worked and lived, pissed and eaten and slept in prison.

But this is different.

This time they are friendly. They say they need me. They say I was born to do this.

Who knows if that is true. This people are well placed liars who know how to inflict pain and keep hopes up.

But they gave me this journal and a pencil. And so I write.

I had a brother when I was little. I don't remember him well. His eyes were green and he was gentle. His name was Alyn. One day my father took him away and Alyn never returned. He had a gift. The same as me. But I kept my gift hidden. I was afraid my father would lock me up like my brother. We can sense feelings. We can make you suffer. We can make you feel bliss. We can make you all you don't want or long for. We are silver. We are forgotten.

Alyn is probably dead. My father is dead too. My uncle is dead.

Everyone is dead.

I am the last of my kind.

One of the guards is watching me. I feel his presence. He wants me. It's creeping under my skin. Not in a good way.

* * *

It's getting colder. **59 days in darkness.** Probably not winter yet but not summer anymore.

September? October? My birthday has passed. I am 15 now. Happy birthday , Zella Velx.

They took me when I was nine. Everyone told me my father was a bad person. I knew that already. He was violent and never satisfied. He gave me to a woman in blue. The woman in blue gave me to a house full of hatred. She made them train me.

I know how to dissect a man's feelings. I can sever all his will to live in only a heartbeat. I am strong.

The guard is still preying on me. One more move and he'll be done. No one touches me.

* * *

 **60 days in darkness.**

Corros Prison received new guests.

An older man and a woman. She can't talk. No tongue. Feel her fear and worry. Her mind could be kind. As could his. But he worries too. For her and others.

They let me loose on them after my second meal.

The man was gagged. Removed it after I had dealt with the guard. He'll never piss himself like this again but will always tremble in fear before me now. He deserves every bit of it.

Told me his name was Julian Jacos. Asked me to help him and his friend. The woman. Sara.

Refused for now. Don't have enough information about Corros Prison, my task or the both of them.

Made Sara relax a bit. Was the least I could offer, I don't want them to think I am the enemy.

I am not the enemy. I don't want to be the enemy. Jacos asked for my name. He reacted very strong when he heard it.

I wanted to ask but was disturbed by another pair of guards.

* * *

 **68 days in darkness.**

Met with harsh punishment for breaking the rules. One less meal, one week without my journal.

I have eaten less. But the fact they read every word I wrote unnerves me. I will hide the journal now, so they won't ever get it.

New prisoners arrived. A small group. I was brought close to watch over their feelings. They are some children younger than me. And some very old people. They are all scared to death.

I soothe their fear and make them compliant. As told. It's a dirty work.

At least no more interrogations. I don't like those. I am no monster to feel pleasure when people squirm before me.

* * *

 **69 days**

Met Sara again. Talked to her. She's a good listener, obviously. I told her I am sorry for refusing to help. She shook her head and felt very sad.

* * *

 **71 days**

One of the girls is rebellious. I shut her down as fast as I could. Making people sad and depressed is easy in a prison.

Heard screams yesterday night and felt pain. Someone got tortured badly.

Not the girl, I hope.

* * *

 **73 days**

The girl is dead. She tried to escape again and was shot.

They say SHE will not be pleased.

They talked about the new king. They said his brother was on the run. They talked about some kind of coronation tour.

I try to find out as much as possible. But since I made the guard cry and shake like a kicked dog, they keep their distance.

* * *

 **75 days- or 80?**

I was sick. But the good thing? Sara got to help me. And I could talk to Jacos during the process.

My brother is alive. He is alive! He's in the palace. I wish I knew what he looked like. He had so big eyes. So gentle.

* * *

I don't know how much time has passed. I lost track.

Something changed. Something is going on. I feel the fever. I feel the anger. I feel something...approaching.

If this is my last entry, I just want to say...I am sorry.

I am sorry for hurting you. I am sorry that I never got to see my brothers face.

I am sorry I refused to help. I am sorry for shepherding you. For watching over your fears and making you helpless.

If this is my last entry...I am Zella Aren Velx. I was sold, imprisoned and trained. I was a weapon and will be dead soon.

* * *

 ** _RABBITNOTES: Oh my. And here we all thought the girl was dead. But guess who goes on coronation tour with the king? And maybe even to Corros. If you have absolutely no clue what I am talking about but are interested, take a look at my stories Circles and His shattered grace, focusing on Alyn Velx and Maven Calore before the books and during Red queen and Glass Sword._**


End file.
